Enough

I sometimes subscribe to an app called We Croak. Based on the Bhutanese principle that it is helpful to your life to think about death five times a day, they send you a quote about death at five random times over the day. While that may sound a little morbid, at the least, it usually gives me pause and gain a little perspective. Is there something irritating me in the moment that I realize is not actually a big deal in the grand scheme of my life? Am I so zoomed in on an expectation or something that seems important to me, I forget there is more than me? There are more ways than mine. Zoom out!

Yesterday, I received a quote by Toni Morrison.

“At some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough.”

This resonated with me. I have certainly been inclined to spend more time trying to capture a remarkable photograph of a sunset, than just sitting, watching and enjoying the nuance of its changes. Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with the creative effort of photography. It can be enjoyable! I think it more made me consider the sometimes forced effort of trying to make each day special, of giving it your best, of doing it all perfectly. And in times when I’m not in a groove or in the flow, I feel like I must be doing something wrong and can indulge self-critical tendencies. Lately this comes up because I feel like I’m in waiting days. Waiting for life to return to normal. Waiting to move on with a job or a new place for the house. Waiting to nurture a creative outlet. Waiting to have purposeful work. Waiting for a clear path forward. But perhaps that feeling of impatience comes from the desire to make a picture of a beautiful day, a beautiful life.

When I simply see and acknowledge for myself the beauty that already is there, feeling the presence of that moment can be fulfilling, peaceful, enough.

Funnily enough, in regards to remembering beauty, I actually keep a little collection of beautiful moments by my bedside. My friend, Darian, once mentioned a practice she had of writing one little something beautiful from her day before bed each night. I started this myself nearly two years ago and it still makes me smile. For example…

August 16^th Tiny green frog in the bathroom sink. Surprise!

February 5^th Walking through the playground, a sock is tied on the jungle gym, the slack volleyball net blows in waves.

March 28^th Cyprus sits on my computer lap, reminding me to let it go.

June 3^rd A peal of laughter at night from way over in the campground.

April 16^th Kids finding agreement on how they want to play with a parachute.

November 12^th After a cold day with little movement… stretching.

December 9^th Two deer were eating nearby as we hung Christmas lights on the porch.

August 7^th Jesse laughing at Coach on Cheers.

January 25^th Pouring creamer in the coffee, it comes up to the top in swirls.

February 13^th Sean joyfully leapt out of his van this morning with “I’m on time today! WhooHoo!”

July 5^th Mom in shades of sea green.

July 21^st A sign on the roadside calls out, PERSIST!

May 15^th A blue jay gave chase to a lizard during lice checks.

September 23^rd Massive HEB grackle congregation in the parking lot at sunset.

May you see some beauty in your day.